Aug 28 2009
Florida and Empathy
Florida’s school teachers and administrators are sighing with relief that their students scored significantly better on this year’s FCATS than they have in the past. As I extend hearty congratulations, I wonder how Florida’s children would score on tests of Empathy. The Webster’s Dictionary defines empathy as, “the projection of one’s own personality of another in order to understand him better.” In other words, are individuals able to understand and accept someone else’s point of view? I am not certain that we, parents and educators, allot enough time and attention to providing children with experiences that build strong empathetic foundations.
While FCATS focus on right answers, an affective curriculum is grounded in fairness. While there is only one proper answer to any given math problem, a lesson in empathy may have many. Exploring perspectives encourages children to think, listen and learn.
Success in any situation seems dependent on creating a balance between rules that ensure physical safety with the ability to create an emotional atmosphere that ensures inner harmony and group peace. Children need uninterrupted time to “play” so that they are able to practice creating this balance. Adults who refrain from interfering with kids during their free play time may be referred to as facilitators. The facilitator shows respect and faith in our children by observing without interacting, by communicating with relaxed body language, and by listening without injecting his/her adult opinions. When conflicts occur, and they will, it would be best for adults to encourage the children to collectively work towards finding a solution. Most often, kids will find an equitable resolution to their difficulty and move on, but, if they are unable to do so, the facilitator may step in. In order to use the situation to build empathetic skills, the adult may begin the conversation with, “So, it looks like you are having some problems” or “You guys seem pretty upset, how about we take turns describing the problem.” If the adult leads the discussion by asking open ended questions, encourages the children to express themselves, and insists that they listen respectfully he/she will be helping children to problem solve. As the facilitator, it may be necessary to clearly state each child’s point of view before asking the children to work towards a solution. It is the adult’s responsibility to help children make compromises based on each child’s perspective. When this is accomplished, children’s self worth is validated and abilities to get along with others are strengthened.
Reading stories, watching movies and sharing story lines provides us with valuable opportunities to listen to our children as they interpret the meaning of their experiences. Again, by asking open ended questions like, “What do you think?” or “How did that character feel” or “How you would feel if …?” gives us the chance to dialogue with our children. It also gives us opportunities to help our children make distinctions between factual versus fantasy, good versus evil, and fair versus corrupt. If we expect our children to critique books and movies with honesty, we need to listen without judgment or criticism. An adult may offer his/her opinion by saying, “Well, I see what you mean, but, I thought that …. meant…….” The facilitator may try to engage the child in a discussion by comparing different opinions. By expressing oneself in a non judgmental manner, the child learns that it is safe and okay to share what he/she is thinking about. After listening, the empathetic adult will help the child make connections, accept different perspectives, and form personal opinions.
In order for our children’s world to become a better place, let’s pledge to continue our commitment towards academic excellence as we work towards helping our children build a solid socio-emotional foundation. Let’s work together, parents and educators, to create a generation of empathetic, inquisitive, caring, and competent life time learners.
Donna B. Mavrides, early childhood educator, author, and president of Magical Moments Publications Inc. lives in Parkland with her sheepdog, Shana. She has created the Magical Moments Curriculum for early childhood educators. The guide provides teachers with a year full of age appropriate lessons, activities, songs, and games. She has also published three picture books, Forever Love, Room For One More, and Margaret the Magnificent. You can visit her at www.magicalms.com
Magical Educating!
Donna Mavrides
Magical Moments
www.magicalms.com
